AUBERGE DE REALS - RESTAURANT REVIEW

One of the pleasures of living in this part of the world is discovering new places to enjoy well-prepared, reasonably priced meals in pleasant surroundings with congenial hosts. Auberge de Reals typifies that pleasure. The restaurant is located near a picturesque bridge over the Orb River off the main road between Cazouls-les-Beziers and Cessenon sur Orb. The view from the terrace must be quite nice in summer but we came in late January and so had to 'settle' for the main dining room with its crackling fire, stone walls, wooden beams, and tile floors. Be aware, in winter the Auberge is closed Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. We joined a healthy Thursday lunch crowd, very congenial, many of whom seemed to be local regulars.

Service was attentive without being intrusive, pleasant without being overly familiar. Given the nearly full house, our orders arrived surprisingly briskly, not hurried but not as leisurely as some restaurants in the region.

We ordered from the daily formula. Our salads came with a chunk of buttery fresh bread topped with a slice of quality goat cheese broiled just right. Simple greens, small wedges of tomato, slices of mushroom, and a mustardy cream sauce. Cathey ordered the fish casserole, chunks of white-fleshed fish (cod?) in a creamy sauce with carrots and with a lightly breaded crust. Tasty and a proper portion. Her side of rice was delicately flavored, not the typically bland side carb. I had the andouillette, a funky trash-meat sausage grilled properly and accompanied by a mound of crisp fries and another little taste of dressed greens. For dessert, Cathey had a flan-like citrus cream chock full of orange zest and I had the floating island topped with shaved, roasted almonds. Fitting endings.

With a demi of rosé (presented in a bucket of ice) and coffee for me, our total bill came to 33 euros. That's 12,50 each for the three-course formula plus wine and coffee. More than reasonable. We'll bring friends. Often.

Read more of my reviews HERE.

TRUMP PRESIDENCY A SIMULATION

97% of peer reviewed articles by quantum physicists agree. The Trump Presidency represents the climax of a simulation that has been running for billions of years, code named The Universe.

"It's obvious," said Neil deGrasse Tyson. "The simulation has run its course. There's no way forward. I expect a reboot any mo

LIE, DAMNED LIE, AND STATISTIC

I refuse to live in a post-truth world. We can argue about policies and their potential outcomes but I refuse to argue about facts.

Earth is not 6,000 years old. I don't have to prove it. You either get it or you don't.

Early humans did not ride dinosaurs like primitive cowboys. The Flintstones is a cartoon, not a documentary. Sorry to disappoint you.

Which brings us to President Trump's Press Secretary Sean Spicer's first official press conference. Spicer said:

1. The pictures showing the difference in the size of the crowd at Trump's inauguration as compared to Obama's were flawed because it was the first time that white flooring had been put down to protect the grass on The Mall.

That's a lie. It was not the first time.

2. Magnetometers were used for the first time at entry points to The Mall, slowing the formation of the crowd.

That's a damned lie. Magnetometers were not used at all.

3. DC Metro rider numbers during Trump's inauguration compared favorably to the numbers for Obama.

The statistics say otherwise. The numbers for the subsequent protest did compare favorably, being the second highest ridership ever after Obama's record-setting first inaugural. The ridership numbers for Trump's inaugural were half that.

Presidential Counselor Kellyanne Conway says that Spicer was presenting 'alternative facts'. Get out your Newspeak dictionaries, boys and girls. Alternative Facts = Lies

(I just love the meme: This is what you look like when gay designers refuse to dress you.)

#EmolumentEqualsImpeachment

AMERICA NEEDS MORE BABIES

The abortion rate in the United States has been cut in half since 1980. Teen pregnancies are on a downward slope as well. Abortion foes say that the declines are because many states have passed legislation severely restricting abortion. But the birth rate hasn't risen in the meantime. So the reduction of the abortion rate cannot be because of those restrictions. There are only two possible reasons. Either Americans are having less sex or they are practicing contraception.

European analysts have been quick to suggest that a lack of sexual activity among Americans should not be a surprise to anyone. "The American attitude toward sex is like the European attitude toward Russia," explained Dutch sexologist Hans Palmstroker. "We are fascinated by it but every time we dip our schwanzstucker in, we get burned."

American conservatives, on the other hand, are reluctant to believe anything that can be proven statistically. Talk show commentator Russ Fury explained, "Who cares about reasons? Can a country that elects Donald Trump claim to have any relationship with reason?"

Fury went on to declare, "Whatever the cause, we need more babies. Every other country in the world is having babies - except those namby-pamby Europeans. We Americans need to step up to the plate. Thank God Congress is getting ready to defund Planned Parenthood. That'll show those Chinese and Mexicans that we can compete."

TRUFFLE MARKET IN PICS - JANUARY, 2017

First, the guy with The Nose checks out what the harvesters bring. They shake hands. They discuss. The aroma when one of the harvesters opened his container and presented his goods to The Nose, plus the fact that very little trimming of his harvested truffles was required, caused Cathey to choose him as our target.

Preparing for inspection...

Each and every truffle is inspected individually. The Nose slices off a small bit. The guy on the right assists.

The Nose takes a sniff.

Sniffing is serious stuff.

Our friend Nicola confirms with The Nose, it's all about the aroma. Little else matters.

Those that pass inspection are weighed and recorded to add to the report of the national harvest. Those that fail are put aside. There is no discussion. The Nose has the final word. Those that pass are put in a sealed sack to prevent hanky-panky.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the market you can buy a half dozen eggs sealed with a bit of truffle for 13.50 euros.

Or you can buy a jug of quite fine local whiskey for 50 euros. Other items for sale include little treelets that will grow into the type that harbor truffles, truffle infused butter and brie, saffron products, and an importer of beers - including Coors Light.

At the appointed hour, the scales come out and the sealed sacks are opened.

The crowd waits behind a rope line for one of the chevaliers to fire off a blank, the rope line drops, and we all rush to our chosen harvester to get the best ones on offer.

Our truffle, about two-thirds the size of a medium egg, cost 23 euros. In the States it would easily bring four times as much.

Cathey shaved it all. No saving it. Buy it and use it.

I prefer mine with eggs and a bit of Toulouse sausage.

Cathey prefers hers with simple, fresh pasta.

And so it goes in the community hall of the town of Villeneuve Minervois until the next market there in early February. We may choose to go. If not, see you next year.

BREAKING NEWS - US ELECTION HACKER REVEALED

US President-elect Donald Trump revealed today that E.T. had hacked the US elections. And yes, the goal was to get Trump elected.

"E.T. is smart," said Trump. "He knew that I was the only President who could keep the world safe from the aliens who President Whitmore first defeated in 1996."

When a reporter suggested that E.T. and Independence Day were works of fiction, Trump was obstinate.

"Vladimir Putin has assured me that Independence Day was a documentary. And he showed me E.T.'s long-form birth certificate," Trump continued. "Who are you going to believe, a West Coast liberal like Spielberg or a patriotic American like Vlad?"