Wednesday, January 4, 2017
BREAKING NEWS - US ELECTION HACKER REVEALED
"E.T. is smart," said Trump. "He knew that I was the only President who could keep the world safe from the aliens who President Whitmore first defeated in 1996."
When a reporter suggested that E.T. and Independence Day were works of fiction, Trump was obstinate.
"Vladimir Putin has assured me that Independence Day was a documentary. And he showed me E.T.'s long-form birth certificate," Trump continued. "Who are you going to believe, a West Coast liberal like Spielberg or a patriotic American like Vlad?"