THREE 19.90€ ($22.75) LOCAL LUNCH MENUS IN FRANCE

If you haven't figured out by now that one of the neatest perks that life in France provides is the quality of the food, you just haven't been paying attention. I'll do a deep dive into the quality and price of fruit and veggies at the grocery store in a subsequent post. Today, let's do lunch. 

At first glance, one might conclude that lunch choices in France don't differ that much from what's available in the USofA, particularly in such small cities near us as Beziers and Narbonne. Both with populations under 100,000, they host chains painfully familiar to Americans - Burger King, McDonald's and KFC. In Paris recently, I've seen Popeye's and Whataburger franchises.  And France-specific joints also dot the landscape. I've reviewed La Pataterie, a chain with franchises throughout France that serves burgers between patties of hash browns instead of buns. (But the beer is cold.) Pizza is ubiquitous, some with cracker-thin crust, some wood-fired. The best is Sicilian and we have a couple of good ones close by. Believe it or don't, pizza vending machines are a thing. I've had the urge to try one. I have resisted the urge.

 

Bar food can be interesting in the States. In my old stomping ground of Allentown, PA there's a place called Ringer's Roost that has an interesting menu of mostly fried food. And Stahley's has been around for 60 years and knows how to put together a cheese steak. I've enjoyed lunching in both joints and I have nothing against American bar food. But the lunches served in local bars here in France, one within walking distance, two more that I'll discuss a short ride away, differ substantially in quality from similarly situated American establishments. And are probably cheaper as well. Again, it's been awhile. You decide.

 

BAR LE 40

Quarante is the name of the town that we live in. Quarante is also the French word for 40. Thus, the local watering hole has taken the name Bar le 40. (The reason for a town founded by the Romans a bunch of centuries ago being named for a number is a topic for conjecture to this day.) Bar le 40 sits near the center of our little village, a couple of hundred meters from our house, and is open for a morning coffee and croissant plus full lunches and dinners from Tuesday through Saturday. Closed Sunday and Monday. Dinners feature relatively simple fare - burgers, dinner salads, steak and fries. But the lunches can be a treat. 

 

The lunch menu features daily specials that are announced at the beginning of the week. Fridays are always seafood. Choose a small salad or an assortment of charcuterie to start. (Charcuterie is French for little pieces of ham and sausages and paté or whatever to pick at, maybe accompanied by a gherkin and butter and slices of baguette.) Then the special of the day. Then the dessert of the day or ice cream. This week's specials, excluding the fish on Friday were:

Tuesday: grilled hanger steak with sauce Bordelaise and mashed potatoes,

Wednesday: grilled chicken skewers marinated in honey/mustard sauce with rice, and

Thursday: pork tenderloin with smoked paprika sauce and new potatoes. 

 

Start plus main plus dessert plus a glass of wine = $22.75 at the current exchange rate. Less than a DoorDash combo meal and not the same old, same old.

 

LA BELLE EPOQUE

In a little collection of small businesses and restaurants in a small town down the road about 20 minutes, La Belle Epoque calls itself a brasserie. I suppose that a bar with decent food can call itself a brasserie if it wants, although to me the appellation implies a bit more upscale establishment. Not the La Belle Epoque is in any way seedy. It's just a bar with decent food. And speaking of the food...

 

La Belle Epoque posts the lunch special of the day on Facebook every morning at about 9am. The special changes daily and includes a start, a main, and a dessert. One of the starts is typically a charcuterie plate like the one mentioned above. One of the mains is typically a steak with sauce - might be pepper or parsley butter or Roquefort. Tiramisu seems to be a favored dessert. If those three standard choices don't interest you, try picking from one of the recent menus:

* Rustic salad with mushrooms followed by sauteed pork with olives and panacotta for dessert,

* Gaszpacho followed by grilled pork tenderloin in garlic cream with lemon tart for dessert,

* Fresh melon with ham followed by breaded turkey in mushroom sauce and panacotta for dessert,

* Salad with goat cheese followed by stewed Basque chicken and yes, panacotta.

 

Again, $22.75. If you are worried that you won't like the day's special, you have to check in early to make your plans for the day. But then, there's always charcuterie and steak if the special doesn't suit. 

LA BONNE FRANQUETTE PIZZERIA

On a main road between Quarante and La Belle Epoque, La Bonne Franquette has recently reopened after a bit of a makeover and upped its game. Of the three I'm talking about today, this is the one that comes closest to being a full-on restaurant. Oddly, although it calls itself a pizzeria, La Bonne Franquette only serves pizza in the evening. France. But the lunch menu is varied, very French. 

 

I'm not going to translate. Check out the slate. This is the sort of thing that you will see when you visit a rural restaurant in France. You should be able to recognize gazpacho and salad. Thon is tuna. Enjoy figuring out the rest.

FRENCH RESTAURANT CULTURE EXAMINED MORE CLOSELY: RE-EDITED

 

RESERVATIONS ARE NECESSARY 

If you are really hungry, if you really want to try that restaurant that everybody's talking about, or if you just want to be certain to get eats, RESERVATIONS ARE NECESSARY. In some cases, that's because the house has prepared the exact number of covers for the reservations in hand. I've seen consistent regulars on a first-name basis with the chef/owner turned away because they forgot to call ahead. And arriving for lunch after 1:30pm without a reservation is almost always a deal breaker. Yes, the posted hours may run until 2:00pm, but that's closing time, not the time of the last seating. In fact, in many French restaurants, there's only one seating for lunch. Arrive by 1:00pm to be safe or you take your chances. And don't forget. RESERVATIONS ARE NECESSARY. 

ON ENTERING

Wait at the door to be noticed. Don't seat yourself. Some restaurants move around the tables and chairs based on the reservations. That cozy table for two in the corner was reserved last week for the newlywed friends of the chef. If you've called ahead, there'll be a place for you. If you haven't, you'll just have to take what you get...or nothing at all. Wait at the door.  

And if you can't say Bonjour or Bonsoir or Merci or S'il vous plait at the appropriate times, what are you doing in France anyway?

There will be dogs. There will be large dogs and there will be small dogs. Some will not be groomed to American Kennel Club standards. Some will appear to have completely avoided any grooming at all. Deal with it. If the dog has been brought into the restaurant, the dog has probably been in every restaurant that its masters have visited, as many restaurants as you have visited. I have never eaten in a restaurant in which a dog has misbehaved. Adults, yes. Children, yes. Dogs, no

PROPER ATTIRE

Denim jeans are ubiquitous in France, on guys and gals alike. And ladies, the more bling the better. Ripped jeans are still a thing. God knows why, but She isn't telling. Don't. Just don't.

Shorts? Fine for lunch at that beach popup restaurant. Long pants for dinner, please. Yoga pants? If you don't plan on doing the Downward-Facing Dog during dinner, don't wear the gear for it. That NY Yankee baseball cap? Ditch it before you step inside. Why the hell do so many French people wear those things, anyway? I'm a (Brooklyn) Dodger fan, myself.

Use common sense. There's that phrase again. Common Sense. If Eppie Lederer (Ann Landers) and Jeanne Phillips (Abigail 'Dear Abby' Van Buren) could make careers out of dispensing common sense, why not Ira (Ira)?

WHEN THE WINE ARRIVES 

Don't pretend that you know what you're doing. You probably don't. 

We usually order the house wine en pichet (in a pitcher) when it's available. But some restaurants only serve bottled wine and sometimes you want to try something special.

Unless you spot a wine that you know and particularly like on the list, ask the waiter for a suggestion. You'd like a light, fruity rosé for the start, a full-bodied red for the boeuf bourguignon? Ask. Limited budget? Add the words pas trop cher (not too expensive). Rather than being laughed at for trying to be the expert that you are not, you may get extra attention for being willing to place yourself in your server's hands.

When the server opens the wine and pours you a sip, you are being given the opportunity to discover if the wine is corked. Just that. A small percentage of wines with natural corks can be tainted by a chemical called TCA. Screw-top wines and wines with artificial corks cannot be tainted in that way, but you'll probably be given the opportunity to take a taste anyway. After the server pours, smell the wine and take a sip. No dramatics. Just sniff and sip. If the wine smells like your dog smells when he comes in from the rain, if it tastes flat and perhaps a bit astringent (overly acidic or bitter), the wine is corked. Not drinkable. You may return it for a replacement. 

Just about the only reason to return a bottle after first taste is if it's corked. Sweeter than you expected? Drier than you expected? That's on you. Not a sufficient reason to return. Some will argue that you can return because the wine is simply not to your taste. Maybe. Not me.

TABLE MANNERS  

Don't eat peas with your knife just about covers it.   

The best restaurants make certain that everyone at the table receives their courses at the same time. Otherwise, the rules on when you may start eating are simple, keeping in mind that it's always polite to wait until everyone is served. 
1.) If your food is served cold, as a green salad, it's proper to wait until all are served. 
2.) If your food is served warm, it is acceptable to begin immediately. A courteous table mate still waiting for service will quickly give permission. 
3.) When dining with the Queen, wait for her to begin regardless. 

Don't slurp or burp (loudly) or chew with your mouth open or talk too loudly or laugh until the wine comes pouring out of your nose. 

TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.

And don't eat peas with your knife.

TURN OFF YOUR PHONE 

Do I really have to say that? 

A reminder. TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.

THE TAB 

Have the discussion sooner rather than later.

If you want separate tabs, ask for separate tabs. If you don't, decide beforehand how you will deal with the money. Will you split the bill in equal portions? Will you attempt to decipher who ordered the dry-aged Black Angus rib and who just had the mixed salad and how much was due from each? Whatever you decide, be quick about it. The meal is over. The longer you take to decide who owes what, the more likely you are to be driving home in tense silence. 

Having gone over the bill, it's alright to ask questions. Quietly and politely. I recently pointed out that our tab didn't include our carafe of wine. Really. I did. The server thought for a minute, then smiled and, walking away, simply said, "Offert." Free. My good deed for the day and her's too. She'll remember me.

GENERAL RULES

Don't whistle or snap your fingers at your server. Just don't.

You can request off-menu items. You can request a vegan or a gluten-free option. You can request substitutions. Request is the operative word. Every server in every French restaurant that I have visited has listened to such requests politely. Honoring such requests is another matter. Désolé is French for I'm sorry. In other words, NO. Accept and move on.

Service compris means that the tip is included with your bill. There are various ways that this fact might appear on your bill because the French like to confuse you. Assuming the usual, that service is included in the bill and that the service itself was proper, we will often leave change in a bar or casual cafe, a small bill in a fancier restaurant.

GET ALL THAT? 

There will be a quiz. 

WHY I LOVE FRENCH DINING: TWO QUIRKY FRENCH RESTAURANTS

Praising French cuisine has become a cottage industry. Likewise, trashing French cuisine has become a cottage industry. Love it or hate it, but you have to have an opinion. I have an opinion: If you want to investigate well-prepared, well-presented, reasonably priced (usually) restaurant fare, you could hardly do better than to start your investigation in France.

We've had the opportunity to dine at Michelin Star restaurants serving multiple courses paired with appropriate wines and we've soaked down artisanal beers while eating burgers at our local bar. The sheer number of pleasant places to pass a leisurely two or three hours across a lunch or dinner table beggars the imagination. To flourish in such an environment, the food had better be fresh, should be as locally produced as possible, and must be reasonably priced for its slot in the restaurant pecking order.

During summer, we have a tendency to go casual. Perhaps a seasonal pop-up restaurant on the beach, perhaps a 'guinguette' or roadhouse, likely but not necessarily seasonal as well. Which leads us to today's scribbling, two quirky restaurants, one a neighborhood joint and one a pop-up on a river bank, that Michelin has passed by but that we have really enjoyed. 

GUINGUETTE ROQUEBRUN

The term guinguette comes from the name of a cheap green wine served at roadhouses in the small towns outside of Paris and other French cities in the 17th Century. Today, the makings of a seasonal guinguette are stored in warehouses or shipping containers in the winter, set up along rivers and in campgrounds in time for the summer crowds, and packed away again a few months later when the season is over. Today, you can bet that a successful guinguette doesn't sell cheap green wine. In fact, today many modern guiguettes have bottles of good, local wine to go with an interesting and varied dinner menu. Lunch is usually not so fancy, featuring the obligatory burgers and a couple of different salads. One of the better guiguettes in our region sits on the banks of the Orb River, calling itself simply the Guinguette Roquebron.

The picture that I took of Roquebrun that appears at the head of this post has not been altered in any way. I just walked over to the front of the guinguette at sunset, pointed my phone, and shot. In other words, Roquebrun is one of those French villages that looks exactly like the typical French village that you have pictured in your mind's eye. During COVID lock down, we took picnics by the riverside. When the nieces come visit, we take them to swim in the river. Last week, we had dinner there with friends.

I won't force your mouth to water by describing every dish. Check out the pictures. All properly prepared and portioned, presented at a leisurely pace by reasonably attentive servers, and thoroughly enjoyable. Every bite. Of our party of five, two had two starters and no main dish, one of us had a main dish but no starter, and two of us had both a starter and a main. Three desserts and two coffees. A bottle of white wine and a liter of house rosé. And the bill came to about $40 pp plus tip, which in France is just a few euros to show appreciation because servers are paid for their work and don't rely on tips. 

The Guinguette Roquebron closed on September 8th and will return next June. The good lord willing and the creek don't rise, we'll be back then.

Rump Steak with Garlic Butter, Fries and Salad

Slow-Cooked Lamb Shank with Polenta and Veg

Gazpacho

Ceviche

Lemon Cheese Cake

Au fil de l'air

Above the air. Over the air. Through the air. That's the translation of the name of a restaurant with small, simple interior and a nice-sized terrace with a great view of the Orb valley below. Maybe the name of the restaurant references that view. Maybe, it's a play on words on the town's name - Les Aires - and the fact that the restaurant and the Les Aires town hall share a parking lot. We'll have to ask. But that's just the name, never fully capitalized for those of you who have noticed. It's all about the food. And the food's good.

Each day, they post the lunch special on a Facebook page. 16€ plus wine. Three courses. We've been twice. For starters we had tomato and mozzarella slices with pesto the first time, Serrano ham and slices of sweet melon the next. In season, fresh, and nice little portions. For the mains, slow-cooked rabbit quarters the first time and aligot with grilled sausage the next. (For those who don't know aligot, it's from the hills of the Massif Central. Mostly potatoes and cheese with butter and garlic and such, you almost have to wind it up like pasta it's so cheesy, twirling it on your fork. Keeps those folks up north warm in the winter.) Again, good portions, well-prepared, and faithfully executed. Not farmhouse cooking. Country cooking. Finishes of fresh peaches in vanilla-flavored syrup and a layered raspberry pastry made for excellent, lunch-sized desserts. 

With the menu and wine, maybe 20€ per person. With an aperitif, wine, and coffee, 25€. 

Every town needs on of these, a place to spend an easy couple of hours over a good meal in a nice space and leave with your wallet relatively intact. If we lived closer, it'd be on the circuit. Well worth the drive.

Au fil de l'air prepares 20 servings of the posted menu, so get there early if that's what you want.

SAN SEBASTIAN/DONOSTIA, SPAIN: A FOODIE VACATION (TRIGGER WARNING: FOOD PORN)

The desire to travel in Europe during our active retirement years partly drove our decision to live here in the south of France. Mystery Vacations are a novel way that we have devised to fulfill that desire. Each year, I choose a place to go, make all of the arrangements, and only tell Cathey what the weather will be like at our destination and the type of attire that might be appropriate. Amazingly, she trusts me.

Last year. we spent a long weekend attending the International White Truffle Festival in Alba, Italy. This year, we dove into the distinctive culinary delights of San Sebastian/Donostia, Spain. Given Cathey's pleased expressions, I guess that the planning and execution of the two trips were worth the effort.

Below find a few pics and some commentary concerning our four days and three nights on the Spanish Coast. If I were to pick favorites, I would recommend Hidalgo 56 in Donostia for a pinxtos luncheon and Gandarias in San Sebastian's Old Town for supper. But there's so much good food in those towns, it's hard to pick a loser. And everyone that's been there has their own favorites. Here's a tip. Go early for lunch to avoid crowds at the best pinxtos bars. And you had better believe that dinner restaurants require reservations.

Donostia taken from the San Seabastian side...

View form the balcony of our rental in Donostia...

Cathey's Pinxtos from Hidalgo 56. Just walk down the bar - see below - and pick what looks tasty. Well, they ALL look tasty.

My choices at Hidalgo 56.

The secret is to go early, as they are setting up for lunch. We arrived at one popular place at 1pm and there wasn't a seat to be had, inside or out. But at 11:30...

The anchovies at Gandarias were divine as was the spider crab salad, the roast suckling pig, the lamb, and the tart below..

Cathey's perfectly constructed salad.

Roast piglet complete with cracklin', fork tender.

Lamb sliced thin and seared hot and fast.

Unbelievable chocolate tart...

Separatists marching in sympathy to the Catalans.They beat their pots and pans, blew their whistles, and, for a brief moment, blocked traffic...and our taxi. But the full-gear riot police talked and persuaded instead of being hostile. All good.

The fare at Bodega Donostiarra was more like tapas than pinxtos.

What follows is the fare at two white tablecloth, sparkling silver and crystal restaurants. The food was fresh, respected, and interestingly prepared. The two restaurants were Ikaitz Restaurant in Donostia and Astelena 1997 in Old Town.

Ikaitz Restaurant anchovies with interesting dots of sauces to swab.

Tower of slices of duck breast with roasted leeks

I think that the fish was hake.

Fish soup that Cathey says was closer to bouillabaisse than the shellfish-broth based soup that we get in the south.

Menu said Black Pudding. I asked if that was boudin. The waitress acted surprised, I think because she may not have expected an American to use that term.

RESTAURANT ETIQUETTE, PART TWO: BY POPULAR DEMAND

My recent post concerning restaurant etiquette in France caused a bit of a buzz on various social media platforms. Lots of folks pointed out that most of the rules that I had proposed were simply grounded in common sense. Others replied that common sense isn't as common as it used to be. Some readers expressed disappointment that I hadn't discussed appropriate dress or the proper use of utensils or the correct way to taste wine. Rather than deprive my readers of my thoughts on these matters, freely given and worth every penny, here's Part Two.

PROPER ATTIRE: You're not going to wear that, are you?
A rule of thumb might be: The higher the expected tab, the more conservative the clothing.

Denim jeans are ubiquitous in France, on guys and gals alike. And ladies, the more bling the better. Ripped jeans are still a thing. God knows why, but She isn't telling. Don't. Just don't.

Shorts? Fine for lunch at that beach cabana. Long pants for dinner, please. Yoga pants? If you don't plan on doing the Downward-Facing Dog during dinner, don't wear the gear for it. That NY Yankee baseball cap? Ditch it before you step inside. Why the hell do so many French people wear those things, anyway? I'm a (Brooklyn) Dodger fan, myself.

Use common sense. There's that phrase again. Common Sense. If Eppie Lederer (Ann Landers) and Jeanne Phillips (Abigail 'Dear Abby' Van Buren) could make careers out of dispensing common sense, why not Ira (Ira)?

WHEN THE WINE ARRIVES: Don't pretend that you know what you're doing. You probably don't.
We usually order the house wine en pichet (in a pitcher) when it's available. But some restaurants only serve bottled wine and sometimes you want to try something special.

Unless you spot a wine that you know and particularly like on the list, ask the waiter for a suggestion. You'd like a light, fruity rosé for the start, a full-bodied red for the boeuf bourguignon? Ask. Limited budget? Add the words pas trop cher. Rather than being laughed at for trying to be the expert that you are not, you may get extra attention for being willing to place yourself in your server's hands.

When the server opens the wine and pours you a sip, you are being given the opportunity to discover if the wine is corked. Just that. A small percentage of wines with natural corks can be tainted by a chemical called TCA. Screw-top wines and wines with artificial corks cannot be tainted in that way, but you'll probably be given the opportunity to take a taste anyway. After the server pours, smell the wine and take a sip. No dramatics. Just sniff and sip. If the wine smells like your dog smells when he comes in from the rain, if it tastes flat and perhaps a bit astringent (overly acidic or bitter), the wine is corked. Not drinkable. You may return it for a replacement. 

Just about the only reason to return a bottle after first taste is if it's corked. Sweeter than you expected? Drier than you expected? That's on you. Not a sufficient reason to return.

Swirling the wine in the glass to test its 'legs' or holding the glass up to the light to see color or spending an inordinate amount of time with your nose in the glass before that first sip? You ain't Jancis Robinson. Don't pretend to be. Take the sip, nod your head, and let your server get on with it. If you feel the need to impress your table mates, do your little dance after everyone's glass has been poured.

TABLE MANNERS: Don't eat peas with your knife just about covers it.   
The best restaurants make certain that everyone at the table receives their courses at the same time. Otherwise, the rules on when you may start eating are simple, keeping in mind that it's always polite to wait until everyone is served. 
1.) If your food is served cold, as a green salad, it's proper to wait until all are served. 
2.) If your food is served warm, it is acceptable to begin immediately. A courteous table mate still waiting for service will quickly give permission. 
3.) When dining with the Queen, wait for her to begin regardless.

Europeans tend to bring food to their mouths with the tines of the fork facing down. Americans tend to eat with the tines facing up. Both methods do the job. Both methods can be abused. If the rest of the folks in the restaurant are concerned about the direction that your tines are pointing, that's their problem, not yours. Just don't slurp or burp (loudly) or chew with your mouth open or talk too loudly or laugh until the wine comes pouring out of your nose. 

TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.

And don't eat peas with your knife.

TURN OFF YOUR PHONE: Do I really have to say that? 
A reminder. TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.

THE TAB: Have the discussion sooner rather than later.
If you want separate tabs, ask for separate tabs. If you don't, decide beforehand how you will deal with the money. Will you split the bill in equal portions? Will you attempt to decipher who ordered the dry-aged Black Angus rib and who just had the mixed salad and how much was due from each? Whatever you decide, be quick about it. The meal is over. The longer you take to decide who owes what, the more likely you are to be driving home in tense silence. 

Having gone over the bill, it's alright to ask questions. Quietly and politely. I recently pointed out that our tab didn't include our carafe of wine. Really. I did. The server thought for a minute, then smiled and, walking away, simply said, "Offert." My good deed for the day and her's too. She'll remember me.

THAT'S IT: Questions will be answered in Comments.

RESTAURANT ETIQUETTE IN FRANCE: SIMPLE PRIMER (WITH TONGUE IN MY AMERICAN CHEEK)

My recent reading of a poor internet review of a favorite restaurant of ours prompted this post. Some people simply should not be allowed internet access. Speech may rightly be free, but it shouldn't be worthless.

From reading the review, I could determine that the reviewer was a tourist who started out in a bad mood because he had to pay extra for parking a camper van that exceeded the maximum height for parking in the free lot. His party arrived at the restaurant at the end of lunch and without a reservation. At first, he was told that an empty table that he pointed out was reserved. When he persisted, he was informed that lunch was over. Since none of the other restaurants in town were still open, the reviewer had to miss lunch.

Let me count the ways...

RESERVATIONS ARE NECESSARY. Maybe not at Burger King, maybe not in a touristy restaurant in a touristy destination. But if you are really hungry, if you really want to try that restaurant that everybody's talking about, or if you just want to be certain to get eats, RESERVATIONS ARE NECESSARY. In some cases, that's because the house has prepared the exact number of covers for the reservations in hand. I've seen consistent regulars on a first-name basis with the chef/owner turned away because they forgot to call ahead. And arriving for lunch after 1:30pm without a reservation is almost always a deal breaker. Yes, the posted hours may run until 2:00pm, but that's closing time, not the time of the last seating. In fact, in many French restaurants, there's only one seating for lunch. Arrive by 1:00pm to be safe or you take your chances. And don't forget. RESERVATIONS ARE NECESSARY.

Don't expect to be the exception. Be gracious if you are turned away.

Wait at the door to be noticed. Don't seat yourself. Some restaurants move around the tables and chairs based on the reservations. That cozy table for two in the corner was reserved last week for the newlywed friends of the chef. If you've called ahead, there'll be a place for you. If you haven't, you'll just have to take what you get...or nothing at all. Wait at the door. 

While you are waiting at the door, and if you haven't made a reservation, practice the French for the number of people in your party. Numbers aren't that hard. And if you can't say Bonjour or Bonsoir or Merci or S'il vous plait at the appropriate times, what are you doing in France anyway?

There will be dogs. There will be large dogs and there will be small dogs. Some will not be groomed to American Kennel Club standards. Some will appear to have completely avoided any grooming at all. Deal with it. If the dog has been brought into the restaurant, the dog has probably been in every restaurant that its masters have visited, as many restaurants as you have visited. I have never eaten in a restaurant in which a dog has misbehaved. Adults, yes. Children, yes. Dogs, no.

Speaking of children, French children don't run and scream and throw things in restaurants. (They don't throw tantrums in grocery stores either, for that matter.) If yours do, the French won't think that it's cute. They'll think that you are a lousy parent.

Don't whistle or snap your fingers at your server. Just don't.

You can request off-menu items. You can request a vegan or a gluten-free option. You can request substitutions. Request is the operative word. Every server in every French restaurant that I have visited has listened to such requests politely. Honoring such requests is another matter. Désolé is French for I'm sorry. In other words, NO. Accept and move on.

Service compris means that the tip is included with your bill. There are various ways that this fact might appear on your bill (SC, STC, TTC) because the French like to confuse you. Assuming the usual, that service is included in the bill and that the service itself was proper, we will often leave change in a bar or casual cafe, a small bill in a fancier restaurant.

Study carefully. There will be a quiz.






 

AUBERGE DE MADALE, COLOMBIERES-SUR-ORB: RESTAURANT REVIEW

Just go there. There's nothing that I can say, nothing that I can show you with pictures, that can sufficiently explain why you should go there. Just go. You will understand.

Oh, there are those who will quibble. This plate had too many flavors. That plate was not properly seasoned. Our server wasn't cheerful. Phooey! If you are looking for something to complain about, you will find something to complain about. If you are that sort of person, then don't go. Stay home. Eat a sandwich in front of the television.

Enough of that.

The driveway leading to the Auberge de Madale is just west of Poujol-sur-Orb off the road to Orlagues. Not well marked. Not well paved. Madale closes after lunch on Sunday and doesn't reopen until lunch on Wednesday. Lunch at noon. Dinner at 20h00. One seating for each meal. Reservations only. (Seriously. RESERVATIONS ONLY.) Cash or check, no plastic. Set menu that changes every two weeks. If you don't like surprises, it's posted on the website. You sit down, you eat what's put in front of you, you drink the house wine, and three hours after you began you are presented with the bill. And the bill is 32 euros per person inclusive of wine and coffee and maybe an aperitif and/or a digestif. Each time, every time. I've heard that special dietary restrictions will be honored. Arrangements must be made beforehand.

If this sounds a bit regimented, I suppose that it is. But it works for us. The food is superb in presentation and execution. Each time. Superb. Every time. The wine is quaffable if not remarkable, from a local vigneron so it doesn't double the cost of the meal as is so often the case. Knowing exactly the number of covers reduces waste to the bare minimum, also contributing to the more than reasonable price. And if you take the time to get to know chef/owner Stephane as he visits your table after your meal, you realize that his formula allows him to play with textures and tastes in a way that's designed both to keep his creative juices flowing and to keep you surprised and amazed. (Raspberries and cherry tomatoes really do complement each other when brought to the mouth together. Who knew?)

There's no sense in discussing in detail each dish that's pictured below. The menu will change by the time that you read this. (In fact, vacation begins 17 September and runs for a month.) Quick notes in the captions will suffice. For more info, visit the website of the Auberge de Madale HERE. For more of my restaurant reviews, you can bring up that page on my blog HERE.

Did I mention? Just go.

Simple, tasty starts. Pickled beet and cured ham. Spread the sun dried tomato puree on the crispy chips standing in that rock

.

Did I mention that the raspberries and tomatoes...? And straw mushrooms wrapped in cheese and gaspacho...

You can just see the oyster leaf covering the green curry at the top.

The fishiest fish dish that I have ever eaten. Perfectly cooked cod. The crabs for the sauce died nobly.

The lemon cream was divine. Had you heard of those little hand grenades of citrus called lemon caviar?

LE GRENIER DE PEPE, TOULOUSE: RESTAURANT REVIEW

Walking into the little space that Le Grenier de Pepe occupies just outside of the old town in Toulouse, you can believe that the dodads and gimcracks that make up the decor came down from someone's attic. Old tools, advertising plaques or plaques with humorous sayings, rusty lamps and broken clocks, all make for the type of atmosphere that some roadside restaurant chains in the US aim for but fail to pull off. In Pepe's Attic, it's genuine and it works.

We arrived at about 7:30 on a weekday evening without a reservation. Naughty children. And since we were a party of three, small two-person tables would have to be pushed together, leaving an empty place in a small room that probably needed to be filled in order to make the single sitting pay. After some thought, we were allowed in. We were fortunate. Within fifteen minutes, at least three other parties without reservations were turned away. 

 Le Grenier de Pepe advertises as a galette and fondue restaurant and those are your choices - an assortment of those fine savory French buckwheat galettes to choose from with crepes for dessert or fondues featuring either cheese or meats. Cathey chose the cheese fondue Normandy - a full pot combining livarot, camembert, Pont l'Eveque, and cider. Hot and tangy and cheesy good. Both Connie and I went for the meat, Connie the duck and beef for me. Connie's hotpot combined herbed cider, mine was white wine based. Connie's full duck breast was sliced quite thin and only required a few moments in the hot broth to cook through. Sweet, sweet duck. My beef was a bit chunky, requiring a bit longer to cook sufficiently, but well worth the wait. We shared from each other and we all agreed that the experience was unique, a fun and rewarding culinary find.

Fun? We were warned by our server that the cheese pot required constant stirring and that I, as the man at the table, was charged with the task. She would keep an eye on me, she said. And she did, pointing to her eye and back at me each time she bustled past our table. She also told us that if we didn't finish our entire meal, we would be required to do go back in the kitchen and do the dishes. Some might have found that sort of server interaction on the familiar side. We didn't and I think that she understood that.

Our dinners came with a choice of a salad or a charcuterie plate. Either made a satisfying start. The mains came with roasted potatoes. I finished with a couple of scoops of ice cream to ease my heated mouth. No other dessert. No coffees or digestifs. Rose en pichet for the girls and a beer for me. 80,50 euros total.

Well worth the price. Recommended.

Read the rest of my restaurant reviews HERE.