Skip to main content

TRUMP's VP LIST REVEALED

It sailed from an upper floor window of Trump Tower in Manhattan, a crude paper airplane which, when unfolded, contained a computer printout with scribbled, hand-written notations. The Japanese tourist whose eye the airplane nearly poked out muttered a few four-character words, then crumpled it up and was about to throw it in a trash bin when his tour guide saw the Trump Vodka logo.

Curious, the tour guide smoothed out the sheet of paper and, upon realizing its significance, walked it into Hillary Clinton's campaign office. Tomorrow morning, the public will learn who is on Trump's short list for Vice President and what he thinks of each candidate. Although the document contains just the computer-printed list and the handwriting, that handwriting is definitely Trump's.

1. Ted Cruz   Not until I see his birth certificate

2. John Boehner    Our makeup would clash

3. Marco Rubio    Not until I see his birth certificate

4. Ric Santorum    I'll pray about it

5. John McCain    Not until I see his birth certificate

6. Sarah Palin    If I wanted big breasts and an empty head, I'd pick one of my ex-wives

7. Ben Carson    Who?

8. Chris Christie    If I wanted big breasts and an empty head, I'd pick one of my ex-wives

9. John Kasich    Who?

10. FIRST CHOICE: Newt Gingrich   Newt led the charge to impeach Bill Clinton while shtupping his third wife before he divorced his second. Or was he shtupping his second wife while married to his first? Either way, my kind of guy.

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

RESTAURANT TEN, UZES: RESTAURANT REVIEW

Ten sits just off the market square in Uzes, one of the prettiest villages in southern France. The newly renovated space is airy and comfortable with tables of sufficient size and sufficiently spaced to provide for a pleasant dining experience. Service was cheerful, fully bilingual, and attentive without being overbearing. The food presented well to both eye and tongue. And the rate of approximately 30 € per person for a party of five included starters, mains, a dessert or two, two bottles of local wine, and coffees at the finish. Reasonable if not cheap eats.  So why am I hesitant to give an unqualified thumbs up?  It took me a while to figure it out. Uzes is a quintessentially French village in a quintessentially French region of southern France. There are those who will say that the Languedoc is just as beautiful but less crowded and less expensive than its eastern neighbors. I know. I'm one of those people. But the fact remains that for many people, villages like Uzes are t

Kreuz Market vs. Smitty’s Market: Texas Barbecue in Lockhart

I was born and raised in New Jersey. I didn’t taste Texas barbecue until I was twenty-two years old. What the hell do I know about barbecue? And what could I add to the millions of words that have been written on the subject? Well, I know a bit about food. I’ve managed to check out a few of the finer joints in Texas – Sonny Bryan’s Smokehouse in Dallas, Joe Cotton’s in Robstown before the fire, the dear departed Williams Smokehouse in Houston, and the incomparable New Zion Missionary Baptist Church in Huntsville . So I can speak from a reasonably wide experience. This will not be a comprehensive discussion of the relative merits of Texas barbecue as opposed to the fare available in places like Memphis or the Carolinas. It’s simply a take on our recent visits to Lockhart and the relative merits of Smitty’s versus Kreuz from our point of view. I’ll get all over academic in a later post. On our way out to the ranch in Crystal City, we stopped at Smitty’s. You have to look

LE CHAT QUI PECHE (THE CAT THAT FISHES), ARGELIERS: RESTAURANT REVIEW

You would think that after over five years of searching for restaurants serving good food at reasonable prices, I would have made my way to Le Chat Qui Peche before now. After all, it's only about ten minutes from our house, in a beautiful spot along the Canal du Midi. But it took a friend to suggest that we would like the place. So we went. And we did. Port-Argeliers isn't much a port, just a spot along the Canal du Midi that boats use as a stopping place. Like a town that might be described as just a wide spot in the road, there hardly seems to be a reason for it to exist other than the fact that it does. So Le Chat Qui Peche, at the foot of a narrow but driveable bridge over the canal, commands a view of the canal that can't reasonably be described as bustling and scenery that might best be described as bucolic. We were among the first to arrive on a lazy summer day, breezy so we chose an outdoor table with less of a view but sheltered. Our server practiced his