REVEALED - KOCHS BIRTHED MODERN PROGRESSIVES

A stash of shredded documents rescued from the garbage outside of Fred Koch's pool boy's mobile home, meticulously reconstructed by an Eagle Scout from Norman, Oklahoma for his Current Events merit badge, reveals that the Koch family has been funding the progressive movement within the Democratic Party for decades. Their successes on behalf of the Republican agenda have been stunning, resulting in the election of Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush. Here's what the documents reveal:

1. Nixon had become a political punchline. Ignored by Eisenhower, beaten by an upstart Kennedy, beaten again for the governorship of California two years later, the idea that Nixon could be elected President was ludicrous...until Koch-funded progressives branded Humphrey a turncoat and turned the Democratic convention in Chicago into a Marx Brothers movie. A wounded Humphrey and a fragmented Democratic Party never recovered. Enter President Nixon.

2. Reagan defeated the guy who defeated Nixon to be elected governor of California and chose to be inaugurated at 10 minutes past midnight on the advice of Nancy's astrologer. (No, I didn't make that up.) In 1976, Regan lost the hard-fought Republican nomination to the incumbent, albeit by appointment, President Gerald Ford. Ford then lost the election to Jimmy Carter. Did the Democrats learn the lesson that a political party loses when the incumbent President is challenged? Nope. Koch-funded progressives Jerry Brown and Ted Kennedy took on President Carter with Kennedy taking his insurgency all the way to the convention. Kennedy lost the nomination but, surprising no one, a wounded Carter and a fragmented Democratic Party never recovered. Enter President Reagan.

3. Bill Clinton was a charismatic good ol' boy from Arkansas, loved by everyone, warts and all. (The exact placement of those warts is NOT a subject for conversation.) Al Gore had all of the charisma of a damp sponge but he had been at Bill's side for eight years and his earnest nerdiness did have a certain charm. Enter Koch-funded wonkinator Ralph Nader. Nader challenged Gore for the title of Dude Least Likely to Get Laid on Prom Night and his smears of Gore as Republican Lite, combined with his ability to siphon off the votes of fellow nerds, wounded Gore sufficiently that the fragmented Democratic Party never recovered. Enter President Bush.

Now I'm supposed to believe that a wounded Hillary Clinton and a fragmented Democratic Party leading to the election of Donald Trump was facilitated by tens of millions of dollars raised on behalf of Bernie Sanders from young, unmarried activists with crushing college loan debt who are living in their parents' basements? Not likely. Follow the money. The Kochs strike again!

(It's called satire. If you haven't figured that out by now, you need to buy a book, find a beach, and chill.)

RESTAURANT TEN, UZES: RESTAURANT REVIEW

Ten sits just off the market square in Uzes, one of the prettiest villages in southern France. The newly renovated space is airy and comfortable with tables of sufficient size and sufficiently spaced to provide for a pleasant dining experience. Service was cheerful, fully bilingual, and attentive without being overbearing. The food presented well to both eye and tongue. And the rate of approximately 30 € per person for a party of five included starters, mains, a dessert or two, two bottles of local wine, and coffees at the finish. Reasonable if not cheap eats. So why am I hesitant to give an unqualified thumbs up? It took me a while to figure it out. Uzes is a quintessentially French village in a quintessentially French region of southern France. There are those who will say that the Languedoc is just as beautiful but less crowded and less expensive than its eastern neighbors. I know. I'm one of those people. But the fact remains that for many people, villages like Uzes are t

Kreuz Market vs. Smitty’s Market: Texas Barbecue in Lockhart

I was born and raised in New Jersey. I didn’t taste Texas barbecue until I was twenty-two years old. What the hell do I know about barbecue? And what could I add to the millions of words that have been written on the subject? Well, I know a bit about food. I’ve managed to check out a few of the finer joints in Texas – Sonny Bryan’s Smokehouse in Dallas, Joe Cotton’s in Robstown before the fire, the dear departed Williams Smokehouse in Houston, and the incomparable New Zion Missionary Baptist Church in Huntsville . So I can speak from a reasonably wide experience. This will not be a comprehensive discussion of the relative merits of Texas barbecue as opposed to the fare available in places like Memphis or the Carolinas. It’s simply a take on our recent visits to Lockhart and the relative merits of Smitty’s versus Kreuz from our point of view. I’ll get all over academic in a later post. On our way out to the ranch in Crystal City, we stopped at Smitty’s. You have to look

VINS I LICORS GRAU: LARGEST WINE BOUTIQUE IN EUROPE

One of the regular sporting activities that those of us living in the south of France enjoy is the semi-annual Run to Spain. Most everybody takes part. It's not a track meet, though. It's a shopping run. We go because some items are cheaper in Spain, substantially so. (I buy Cathey's favorite perfume there because it sells for less than in the duty-free shops, much less than in the local French parfumerie . But don't tell Cathey that. It'll be our little secret.) Some items simply are not available locally - a reasonable selection of Spanish wines, a bottle of brandy to feed the Christmas cake. And so, off we go Spain. Just across the border sits La Jonquera, a small Catalonian town whose name is now attached to a massive array of opportunities to spend euros - department stores and specialty shops, garden centers, liquor stores, tobacconists, groceries and butchers. You want it? You can buy it somewhere along the main drag heading south out of the old town. We

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