Showing posts with label Hillary Clinton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hillary Clinton. Show all posts

IRA'S STUPID STUFF - LATE JULY, 2016

 
1. The US Department of Justice decides that Bud and Miller owning a combined 70% of the American beer market and 30% of the world market does not constitute a monopoly. "Don't worry," says the DoJ. "We've made deals with them." Meanwhile, the companies say that the merger will help them compete with craft brewers. It's good to know that our government is protecting mega-corporations from the little guys.

2. Ted Cruz refuses to endorse Donald Trump. Let's see. At the Republican convention in 1976, Reagan endorsed the man who beat him in the primaries (Gerald Ford) and went on to become President when his turn came four years later. Hillary endorsed Obama at the Democratic convention in 2008 after her beat her in the primaries and went on to become her party's nominee eight years later. Cruz...is Cruz.

3. Police shoot Charles Kinsey, on camera, while Kinsey was lying on his back with his hands in the air. Next to him, an autistic adult plays with a toy truck. We learn later that the cop who shot Kinsey was aiming for the disabled man. And missed. Three times.

We have to be careful. We can't get used to this. Just as we can't get used to the police being ambushed. Both circumstances are indefensible. You don't have to be on one side or the other. Senseless violence on both sides has to stop.

4. Hillary picks Kaine. In doing so, she pisses off  Bernie Sanders. Makes sense. George McGovern wasn't progressive enough for Sanders, so Sanders worked for Spock. (Not Mr. Spock. Dr. Benjamin Spock. The baby doctor. Are you old enough to remember that he ran for President?)

So although Kaine consistently is rated 100% by Planned Parenthood (and the anti-gun lobby and many labor groups and many civil rights groups...), and although Kaine did mission (not missionary) work in Central America becoming fluent in Spanish, and although Kaine started his professional life as a civil rights lawyer, Kaine is just not progressive enough for Progressives.

5. Bill O'Reilly says of the slaves that built the White House, “slaves that worked there were well fed and had decent lodgings provided by the government.” O'Reilly says that he was just pointing out facts. You can put lipstick on a pig...





DEMOCRAT BONUS: "I wouldn't vote for her for dog catcher." A Midwestern delegate to the Democrat convention who has never met Hillary much less worked with Hillary decides that she knows Hillary better than Bernie and Michelle and Barack and Warren and Biden and Jimmy Carter and the Presidents of the NEA and NARAL and so on and so on. Maybe she should vote for Susan Sarandon.

REPUBLICAN BONUS: Trump says that his sacrifices...working very hard and building big buildings...are equivalent to that of the Muslim Blue Star parents of a dead Marine hero. Trump also said that the NFL wrote him a letter complaining about the scheduling of the Presidential debates. The NFL says emphatically that they didn't. See either picture above for my take on The Donald's latest forays into theater of the absurd.



REVEALED - KOCHS BIRTHED MODERN PROGRESSIVES


A stash of shredded documents rescued from the garbage outside of Fred Koch's pool boy's mobile home, meticulously reconstructed by an Eagle Scout from Norman, Oklahoma for his Current Events merit badge, reveals that the Koch family has been funding the progressive movement within the Democratic Party for decades. Their successes on behalf of the Republican agenda have been stunning, resulting in the election of Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush. Here's what the documents reveal:

1. Nixon had become a political punchline. Ignored by Eisenhower, beaten by an upstart Kennedy, beaten again for the governorship of California two years later, the idea that Nixon could be elected President was ludicrous...until Koch-funded progressives branded Humphrey a turncoat and turned the Democratic convention in Chicago into a Marx Brothers movie. A wounded Humphrey and a fragmented Democratic Party never recovered. Enter President Nixon.

2. Reagan defeated the guy who defeated Nixon to be elected governor of California and chose to be inaugurated at 10 minutes past midnight on the advice of Nancy's astrologer. (No, I didn't make that up.) In 1976, Regan lost the hard-fought Republican nomination to the incumbent, albeit by appointment, President Gerald Ford. Ford then lost the election to Jimmy Carter. Did the Democrats learn the lesson that a political party loses when the incumbent President is challenged? Nope. Koch-funded progressives Jerry Brown and Ted Kennedy took on President Carter with Kennedy taking his insurgency all the way to the convention. Kennedy lost the nomination but, surprising no one, a wounded Carter and a fragmented Democratic Party never recovered. Enter President Reagan.

3. Bill Clinton was a charismatic good ol' boy from Arkansas, loved by everyone, warts and all. (The exact placement of those warts is NOT a subject for conversation.) Al Gore had all of the charisma of a damp sponge but he had been at Bill's side for eight years and his earnest nerdiness did have a certain charm. Enter Koch-funded wonkinator Ralph Nader. Nader challenged Gore for the title of Dude Least Likely to Get Laid on Prom Night and his smears of Gore as Republican Lite, combined with his ability to siphon off the votes of fellow nerds, wounded Gore sufficiently that the fragmented Democratic Party never recovered. Enter President Bush.

Now I'm supposed to believe that a wounded Hillary Clinton and a fragmented Democratic Party leading to the election of Donald Trump was facilitated by tens of millions of dollars raised on behalf of Bernie Sanders from young, unmarried activists with crushing college loan debt who are living in their parents' basements? Not likely. Follow the money. The Kochs strike again!

(It's called satire. If you haven't figured that out by now, you need to buy a book, find a beach, and chill.)






HANDICAPPING THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION - NOVEMBER 2015

DEMOCRATS
That's Martin O'Malley on the left. He had his shot to stand on a stage with Hillary and Bernie and show that he belonged. Didn't happen.

After the first debate, Hillary solidified her lead. Not that Bernie didn't do well. Very well. He just didn't do well enough. After Hillary's performance at the Benghazi hearings and the second debate, it's hard to see her losing Iowa. And if she wins Iowa big, it's hard to see where Bernie goes after New Hampshire. And of course, if Hillary wins New Hampshire, game over.

The wildcard for the past two months, Joe Biden, is history. So that spot reverts to Elizabeth Warren...with a very tiny window to crawl through.

November, 2015
Favorite: Hillary Clinton
Long Shot: Bernie Sanders
Wild Card: Elizabeth Warren
Prediction: Hillary Clinton

July, 2015
Favorite: Hillary Clinton
Long Shot: Bernie Sanders
Wild Card: Elizabeth Warren
Prediction: Hillary Clinton


REPUBLICANS
I admit it. I am completely flummoxed. I still have sufficient faith to believe that neither Trump nor Carson will be the ultimate choice of the Republicans. After that...

Bush? It's been time for him to step up for months. Past time.

Rubio? Really? A kid who skips school?

Cruz? PuhLEEEze...

Fiona? Liar, liar, pants on fire...

Kasich or Graham? Do Washington insiders stand a chance?

Huckabee or Santorum? It looks like the time for Christians has past.

So there you have it. I have no idea...

November, 2015
Favorite: ????
Long Shot: Kasich and Graham
Wild Card: Everybody else...
Prediction: ????

July, 2015
Favorite: Jeb Bush
Long Shot: Rick Santorum / Mike Huckabee
Wild Card: Any Current/Former Republican Governor/Senator Not Named Christie or Perry
Prediction: Jeb

Laundry in Paradise

Adam and Eve’s defiant, irresistible urge to take a bite out of that particular apple led to one very unfortunate result. I’m not talking ...