Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from November, 2015

#28 - FRENCH COURAGE

They have the weapons. Fuck them. We have the Champagne. After having endured centuries of invading armies sweeping through their country, after enduring decades of terror attacks arising from their involvement in North Africa and the Middle East, the French might be excused if they said, "Enough is enough. Our borders are closed." But they haven't said that. Today, President Hollande reaffirmed France's willingness to accept tens of thousands of refugees over the next two years. France will, he said, reinforce its borders at the same time that it honors its humanitarian commitments. "Our duty is to carry on with our lives," Hollande said. So the French will continue to eat good food, drink good wine, smoke strong cigarettes, and watch Jerry Lewis movies. Because they ARE French. And that's what French people do. Bravery? Perhaps. I think it has more to do with a deep understanding of what is important and what is transient. Fear is trans

HANDICAPPING THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION - NOVEMBER 2015

DEMOCRATS That's Martin O'Malley on the left. He had his shot to stand on a stage with Hillary and Bernie and show that he belonged. Didn't happen. After the first debate, Hillary solidified her lead. Not that Bernie didn't do well. Very well. He just didn't do well enough. After Hillary's performance at the Benghazi hearings and the second debate, it's hard to see her losing Iowa. And if she wins Iowa big, it's hard to see where Bernie goes after New Hampshire. And of course, if Hillary wins New Hampshire, game over. The wildcard for the past two months, Joe Biden, is history. So that spot reverts to Elizabeth Warren...with a very tiny window to crawl through. November, 2015 Favorite: Hillary Clinton Long Shot: Bernie Sanders Wild Card: Elizabeth Warren Prediction: Hillary Clinton July, 2015 Favorite: Hillary Clinton Long Shot: Bernie Sanders Wild Card: Elizabeth Warren Prediction: Hillary Clinton REPUBLICANS I admit it. I am c

LA GALINIERE, CAPESTANG - RESTAURANT REVIEW

We decided to try out La Galiniere after living in the area for quite a while and somehow passing it by. That was probably a mistake. The softly lit room with well-spaced tables and a casual atmosphere provided a pleasant, leisurely paced afternoon meal that was as easy on the wallet as it was on the taste buds. We never saw a menu, opting for the 15 euro formula of the day. Cathey started with the seafood tart with small side salad. These little tarts are ubiquitous near the Mediterranean and this one, with mussels and shrimp, was just fine. I had the Serrano ham with salad. And corn. The little niblets of corn in the salad were, to my memory, the first we've ever been served in France. Nice touch (I've since come to learn that corn is considered exotic and is used quite frequently in salads here. Who knew?) We both opted for the roasted chicken with red wine reduction. Cathey passed on the fish because it was done with saffron and Cathey does not prefer that co

#27 - HILLARY'S TRUTH, RELATIVITY, I AM OLD

Oprah convinced Hillary to answer the one question on everybody's mind: Why has she stayed married to Bill all of these years? "Well, the fact is that we were never married," Hillary confessed to Oprah last Friday. "Has anyone ever seen a marriage certificate? Hell, no. It's as fictional as Barack's American birth certificate. No, Bill and I share ambition, not sleeping arrangements" But why? "The only bachelors to ever be elected President were James Buchanan and Grover Cleveland. Not exactly first team all-stars. So if we were both going to be elected President, first Bill needed cover for his tom-catting. Then I needed to pretend that I baked cookies every now and then. You know, gender solidarity and all that nonsense. So we cut a deal" What about Chelsea? "What about Chelsea? So I got horny. Once. Even a cold cut like me needs a little mustard every now and then." RELATIVITY  I just finished an interesting arti

POPPY AND EARLY CHRISTMAS FAIR 2015 ORNAISONS

It was a beautiful day for a drive in the country, so off we went to the small village of Ornaisons. LFN (Little Fat Norm) is a nonprofit organization for expats, Brits mostly, living mainly in and around our corner of southwest France who raise money in support of The Royal British Legion and otherwise gallivant and gambol about the landscape. In this case, LFN took over the Salle Polyvalente (community room) in Ornaisons, offered food including full English breakfasts and fish and chips, and made available both rummage items and crafty things for sale. So we bought our poppies - the price of admission, and we bought some stocking stuffers, and we bought curry leaves from the spice people, and we picked up a couple of paperbacks because you just have to feel a book in your hands every once in a while regardless of how convenient your Kindle is. A good time was had by all. Just one of those beautiful, blue sky days... Can you read them? Fajita Mix. Chipotle Rub. Whoda thunk

BEN CARSON EXPLAINS STONEHENGE

"Think about it," Ben Carson said during the 32nd Republican Presidential debate aired last Wednesday night on public access channel 53 in Des Moines, Iowa. "Would ancient savages have hauled all of those stones around just to predict when to plant corn? That's what the Farmer's Almanac is for. No, the stones were erected to protect crops from elephants." When moderators pointed out that there had never been elephants on the British Isles, Carson only smiled and nodded.

#26 - LION STEW - AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

 LION STEW Rupert Murdoch bought National Geographic and laid off 10% of staff the very first day including, and it almost goes without saying, fact checkers. It has been reported that the next issue will feature recipes for slow-cooking lion meat, an article entitled Survey: Amazon Tribes Prefer Ben Carson Over Bernie Sanders Two to One , and a photo-essay featuring the Kardashian family on a naked safari searching for intelligent life in Culver City. AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM There are Americans who hate Obama so much that they swore that if he was elected, and then if he was reelected, they would leave the country. But they've decided to stick around, haven't they? And if Hillary is elected, or if Bernie's elected, my guess is that they'll stick around too. Same goes for Progressives if Rubio or one of the other clowns in the Republican car find their way into the White House for any reason other than a public tour. Why do you think that is? Those

#25 - BACON - CALIPHATE

BACON So now we're told that bacon causes cancer. Remember when apples were going to kill us? Bananas? Pfui! The only harm that comes from eating bacon is to the pig that produced it...and it was a noble death. The women who are at the perfume counter looking for a scent that will drive men wild are in the wrong place. The smell of bacon cooking drives men wild. Reduce that aroma to its essence, bottle it, and spray it on your wrists and behind your ears, ladies. Even vegans will secretly want a lick of that. CALIPHATE Speaking of bacon, I have been told by friends who claim to know, some who have roots in the region, that the Arab street in the Middle East is not ready for Western democracy. I have been told that strong men, even men like Saddam and Assad, are needed to keep order until enlightenment comes. And that enlightenment, I am told, cannot be imposed from without. It must bubble up from within. These same people excoriate Western governments for their handli