#27 - HILLARY'S TRUTH, RELATIVITY, I AM OLD

Oprah convinced Hillary to answer the one question on everybody's mind:

Why has she stayed married to Bill all of these years?

"Well, the fact is that we were never married," Hillary confessed to Oprah last Friday. "Has anyone ever seen a marriage certificate? Hell, no. It's as fictional as Barack's American birth certificate. No, Bill and I share ambition, not sleeping arrangements"

But why?

"The only bachelors to ever be elected President were James Buchanan and Grover Cleveland. Not exactly first team all-stars. So if we were both going to be elected President, first Bill needed cover for his tom-catting. Then I needed to pretend that I baked cookies every now and then. You know, gender solidarity and all that nonsense. So we cut a deal"

What about Chelsea?

"What about Chelsea? So I got horny. Once. Even a cold cut like me needs a little mustard every now and then."

RELATIVITY

I just finished an interesting article outlining the limitations of the general theory of relativity when discussing the micro world and the failure of quantum physics when applied to the macro. We continue to await the startling revelations that string theory promised but the math just doesn't seem to work out.

Question...

Why am I exposing my little gray cells to this stuff? I only have so much room in my brain and there's clearly not enough left to make sense of a physics in which space is not continuous but divided into distinct packets in the same way that light is divided into photons.

TMI. Help!

I AM OLD
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Are black cafeteria workers at Mizzou paid less than their white counterparts? Does it take black professors longer to attain tenure than their white colleagues?

In other words, is Mizzou racist? The answer would appear to be that institutional racism was not the problem at Mizzou. Then what was all the shouting about?

A feces-smeared swastika appeared on a wall. A racial epithet was hurled at a black student. Not examples of institutional racism. This is hate speech.

Hate speech? A university's administration resigned because students were upset by hate speech? And now those students want to suspend classes because more vitriolic hate speech has appeared on social media as a result? What did they expect? Acoustic guitars and Kumbaya?

I am old. Young men and women in our armed forces are dying in foreign lands and we've grown tired of marching. Young men and women on our city streets are dying in what begin as benign interactions with police and we've grown tired of marching. And from somewhere, for some reason, we find the energy to bring a university to its knees over hurt feelings. That's right. Hurt feelings. Whatever language these fragile youngsters use to couch the problem, it comes down to an inability to cope with hate speech and the hurt feelings that result.

My liberal friends will castigate me. How could someone who marched for civil rights in the 60s be so insensitive today? I would like to find a safe space. But I live in the real world. There is no such place.

I am old.

RESTAURANT TEN, UZES: RESTAURANT REVIEW

Ten sits just off the market square in Uzes, one of the prettiest villages in southern France. The newly renovated space is airy and comfortable with tables of sufficient size and sufficiently spaced to provide for a pleasant dining experience. Service was cheerful, fully bilingual, and attentive without being overbearing. The food presented well to both eye and tongue. And the rate of approximately 30 € per person for a party of five included starters, mains, a dessert or two, two bottles of local wine, and coffees at the finish. Reasonable if not cheap eats. So why am I hesitant to give an unqualified thumbs up? It took me a while to figure it out. Uzes is a quintessentially French village in a quintessentially French region of southern France. There are those who will say that the Languedoc is just as beautiful but less crowded and less expensive than its eastern neighbors. I know. I'm one of those people. But the fact remains that for many people, villages like Uzes are t

Kreuz Market vs. Smitty’s Market: Texas Barbecue in Lockhart

I was born and raised in New Jersey. I didn’t taste Texas barbecue until I was twenty-two years old. What the hell do I know about barbecue? And what could I add to the millions of words that have been written on the subject? Well, I know a bit about food. I’ve managed to check out a few of the finer joints in Texas – Sonny Bryan’s Smokehouse in Dallas, Joe Cotton’s in Robstown before the fire, the dear departed Williams Smokehouse in Houston, and the incomparable New Zion Missionary Baptist Church in Huntsville . So I can speak from a reasonably wide experience. This will not be a comprehensive discussion of the relative merits of Texas barbecue as opposed to the fare available in places like Memphis or the Carolinas. It’s simply a take on our recent visits to Lockhart and the relative merits of Smitty’s versus Kreuz from our point of view. I’ll get all over academic in a later post. On our way out to the ranch in Crystal City, we stopped at Smitty’s. You have to look

LE CHAT QUI PECHE (THE CAT THAT FISHES), ARGELIERS: RESTAURANT REVIEW

You would think that after over five years of searching for restaurants serving good food at reasonable prices, I would have made my way to Le Chat Qui Peche before now. After all, it's only about ten minutes from our house, in a beautiful spot along the Canal du Midi. But it took a friend to suggest that we would like the place. So we went. And we did. Port-Argeliers isn't much a port, just a spot along the Canal du Midi that boats use as a stopping place. Like a town that might be described as just a wide spot in the road, there hardly seems to be a reason for it to exist other than the fact that it does. So Le Chat Qui Peche, at the foot of a narrow but driveable bridge over the canal, commands a view of the canal that can't reasonably be described as bustling and scenery that might best be described as bucolic. We were among the first to arrive on a lazy summer day, breezy so we chose an outdoor table with less of a view but sheltered. Our server practiced his

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