#27 - HILLARY'S TRUTH, RELATIVITY, I AM OLD

Oprah convinced Hillary to answer the one question on everybody's mind:

Why has she stayed married to Bill all of these years?

"Well, the fact is that we were never married," Hillary confessed to Oprah last Friday. "Has anyone ever seen a marriage certificate? Hell, no. It's as fictional as Barack's American birth certificate. No, Bill and I share ambition, not sleeping arrangements"


But why?

"The only bachelors to ever be elected President were James Buchanan and Grover Cleveland. Not exactly first team all-stars. So if we were both going to be elected President, first Bill needed cover for his tom-catting. Then I needed to pretend that I baked cookies every now and then. You know, gender solidarity and all that nonsense. So we cut a deal"

What about Chelsea?

"What about Chelsea? So I got horny. Once. Even a cold cut like me needs a little mustard every now and then."

RELATIVITY 
I just finished an interesting article outlining the limitations of the general theory of relativity when discussing the micro world and the failure of quantum physics when applied to the macro. We continue to await the startling revelations that string theory promised but the math just doesn't seem to work out.

Question...

Why am I exposing my little gray cells to this stuff? I only have so much room in my brain and there's clearly not enough left to make sense of a physics in which space is not continuous but divided into distinct packets in the same way that light is divided into photons.

TMI. Help!

I AM OLD
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Are black cafeteria workers at Mizzou paid less than their white counterparts? Does it take black professors longer to attain tenure than their white colleagues?

In other words, is Mizzou racist? The answer would appear to be that institutional racism was not the problem at Mizzou. Then what was all the shouting about?

A feces-smeared swastika appeared on a wall. A racial epithet was hurled at a black student. Not examples of institutional racism. This is hate speech.

Hate speech? A university's administration resigned because students were upset by hate speech? And now those students want to suspend classes because more vitriolic hate speech has appeared on social media as a result? What did they expect? Acoustic guitars and Kumbaya?


I am old. Young men and women in our armed forces are dying in foreign lands and we've grown tired of marching. Young men and women on our city streets are dying in what begin as benign interactions with police and we've grown tired of marching. And from somewhere, for some reason, we find the energy to bring a university to its knees over hurt feelings. That's right. Hurt feelings. Whatever language these fragile youngsters use to couch the problem, it comes down to an inability to cope with hate speech and the hurt feelings that result.

My liberal friends will castigate me. How could someone who marched for civil rights in the 60s be so insensitive today? I would like to find a safe space. But I live in the real world. There is no such place.

I am old.