France, Food, Scooters and More: #22 - HOW DID WE GET SO STUPID?

It's no longer funny. We're stupid. Americans are stupid. That's not to say that idiocy is an exclusively American trait. But we're damn close to qualifying for a patent.

Stay with me. If you don't like what I say at first, I'm certain to really piss you off later.

LINDSEY GRAHAM AND FLOOD AID
The man is running for President, voted against increased federal funding for the Northeast in the wake of SuperStorm Sandy, and is asking for federal aid after flooding in his state from Hurricane Joaquin. Huh? Does he think that nobody notices this kind of shit?

Does he think that we are that stupid? Or is he that stupid?

Probably both.

GUNS

Tell me truthfully. You like guns, don't you? That's really what it's about with you. You like the noise they make, the way that they shred targets at the range, the feel of the steel in your hand when your dick isn't in it.

How many deaths will it take 'til we know that too many people have died? The answer to the latest mass shooting is more guns? Seriously? 350,000,000 guns is not enough guns? They've managed to warp your intellect to the point that you do not understand or care that having a gun in your house is many times more likely to kill you, a family member, or an innocent stranger than an intruder.

In fact, he statistical reality is that for every justifiable homicide in the United States - for every lethal shooting in defense of life or property - guns are used to commit 34 murders, 78 suicides, and are the cause of two accidental deaths. (FBI data quoted by the Washington Post.)

If you are a responsible gun owner and keep your guns locked in a safe, how useful will it really be when the zombies break the glass? And if it's in your bedside table, how much would you be willing to bet me that your kid hasn't already pulled it out and played with it? Let's ask him.

Or maybe your answer is that guns don't kill people. People kill people.

PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE WITH GUNS!

And I'm sorry, but the majority of mass murderers are not mentally ill and a majority of mass murderers obtained their guns legally. So don't deflect by bringing up mental illness. And don't deflect by bringing up the futility of gun laws. Make it hard work to become a mass murderer with guns and I agree that folks will find different ways to demonstrate that they are antisocial, maybe by putting on body armor and entering a school building with the intention of tickling a bunch of people until they laugh themselves to death.

Owning a gun is a Constitutional right, you argue? According to the Constitution, you could drink liquor...until the Constitution said that you couldn't...until the Constitution said that you could again. Sane people can change their minds.

So I'm sorry. If you think that the answer is more guns, you are simply no longer rational. You've been bent by the propaganda.

FIORINA
Hewlett-Packard missed a majority of its earnings projections at the end of Fiorina's tenure. It's stock tanked by a greater percentage than its closest competitors when the tech bubble burst. It's acquisition of Compaq was the only thing that kept its corporate head above water. But you tell me, how many HP/Compaq products do you own today? Fiorina says that HP's Board made a mistake when it fired her. But the day after Fiorina was fired, the markets were so happy that the value of the company increased by $3 billion!

Fiorina is therefore a highly qualified candidate for President?

Or try this. When discussing Planned Parenthood during the recent televised debate, Fiorina urged the Obama to view a video of an aborted fetus. But the video wasn't the one created by the folks attempting to trash Planned Parenthood. In fact, the fetus in the video had nothing to do with Planned Parenthood. In fact, the fetus had nothing to do with abortion. The fetus was the product of a miscarriage. "Technicality," claims Fiorina.

THAT'S what qualifies Fiorina for the Presidency, the ability to inflate her resume and lie with a straight face.

And by the way, the number of states that have investigated Planned Parenthood since this business began is up around twelve. Not one investigation has turned up any wrongdoing. If Missouri can't make a case, nobody can.