Monday, May 23, 2016
FLASH: TRUMP TO MARRY LE PEN
When asked why he was making this move at such a critical juncture in his campaign, Trump claimed that the idea was actually spawned by policy considerations...his concerns about immigration.
"My plan is to dig a ditch between Europe and the United States to prevent Syrian refugees from entering the country illegally," Trump declared. "By the same token, we'll be keeping cheap Mexican labor out of Europe." When it was pointed out that there was already an ocean between the two continents, Trump became incensed. "I'm a very smart person," he said. "I've heard of the Atlantic Ocean. Did it stop the British or the French from invading North America, the Spanish from taking over Mexico, or the Incas from controlling South America? We need a moat. Marine will work on it from her side and together we'll get the Mexicans AND the Syrians to pay for it."
When contacted for this article, Le Pen denied ever having agreed to marry Trump. "You can't buy a decent piece of meat in France," she said. "I called Trump because I heard that he had trouble selling his steaks and I thought that I could work out a deal. Marry him? Don't be silly. I'm French. I care about hair."