Skip to main content

DEMOCRATS CHANGE NOMINATION RULES

My sources confirm that the national Democratic Party has taken to heart the criticisms concerning Party rules leveled by Sanders and his supporters. In a surprise move, DNC Chair Deb Wasserman Schultz has resigned. Her place will be taken by former  University of Mississippi activist Melissa Click. Click immediately announced that the current nomination process has been scrapped.


Clinton's lead of approximately 300 pledged delegates, her amassing of over 2.5 million more primary votes than Sanders will no longer matter. Instead, a new regimen will be put into place. The nominee will be decided by an internet poll conducted on the first night of the Party's convention in Philadelphia exclusively among users of Twitter, Reddit, Instagram, and Snapchat. In case of a tie, the prospective nominee whose supporters use the most capital letters in their responses to survey questions will be judged the winner.

"It's about MODERN DEMOCRACY," said Sanders supporter Persephone Rainbow. "I mean, REALLY. If you don't understand MODERN MEANS OF COMMUNICATION, you DON'T DESERVE to be nominated. #BernieOrBust."

Clinton supporter Eleanor Bluehair saw things differently. "They are disenfranchising Myspace voters. Doesn't loyalty and tradition stand for anything anymore?"

Sanders released a statement saying that he would agree with the decision as long as it resulted in a victory for his campaign. If he lost, he reserved the right to change his mind. Clinton's campaign was too busy buying every available share of Twitter stock to comment.




Comments

  1. A little late for April fools isn't it Ira?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's called satire, Jeremy. Great English literary tradition...

      Delete
  2. Excellent Ira , we English call the USA , "The Land without irony" with affection though . I got in terrible trouble my firsr visit there ...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Barry. I sometimes think that I should label a post like this as satire so that folks don't confuse it for an actual news story.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

FRENCH VISA AND HEALTH INSURANCE FOR AMERICANS

The most expensive item in an American family's budget may be health insurance. But many Americans have no understanding of the true cost of their insurance because it's included in their employment package. Folks simply don't think about how much their employer may be reducing their salaries when factoring in insurance costs.

Before I retired, my employer paid for my health insurance but I had to pay to insure my wife. The cost, taken out of my every paycheck, came to about $6,000 annually. And even with insurance, there were co-pays and other out of pocket expenses. We were reasonably healthy (and still are, knock wood), but we each take a few common prescription medications - for blood pressure and cholesterol and the like, nothing exotic or costly. Even so, with regular visits to the doctor, periodic lab work, the drugs, and the occasional illness or injury, we normally spent an additional several thousand dollars annually in the States over and above the cost of the i…

BURGER KING, NARBONNE: RESTAURANT REVIEW (GOD FORGIVE ME)

After 48 years, The Southern Woman That I Married can still surprise me.

We went shopping the other day. You see, we're at the beginning of the French winter sales. Yes, stores here have sales all of the time, but I'm talking about THE SALES. Twice each year, once in winter and once in summer, every store holds sales. It's an official thing. There's a national start date (although it may vary a bit from region to region), a national end date, and stores are not permitted to bring in stock just for THE SALES. So these are true clearances. Discounts can be 70% or more. Serious savings.

Yes, I know. Controlled capitalism. How could it possibly work? Hint: It works because everybody buys into it, even the capitalists.


The day before we hit the shops, Cathey said,"Let's have lunch at Burger King." Be aware that Cathey has been trying to find a decent hamburger ever since we arrived in France. We've tried Buffalo Grill. We've ordered a burger at one o…

ASIA MARKET, BEZIERS: WORTH A VISIT

The Southern Woman That I Married is an accomplished, multi-cultural cook. Over the years, our table has been graced with examples of authentic fare from the world over. If there is one limitation to the diversity of the menus that Cathey can create here in the south of France, it's the availability of proper ingredients. Sometimes, it's the simple things. I've spent my entire life enjoying lox on a bagel smeared with cream cheese for breakfast on a Sunday morning. There's fine smoked salmon on display in just about every supermarket here, but even though the packaging of Philadelphia Cream Cheese looks the same as in the States, the formula is clearly different. It just doesn't taste the same. And a bagel? A real, honest-to-goodness, Brooklyn-style bagel? In the rural south of France? Fuhgeddaboudit.

For Cathey's cookery, more exotic fare than bagels and cream cheese is required. Almost immediately after our move here four years ago, she lamented the difficult…