Skip to main content

DEMOCRATS CHANGE NOMINATION RULES

My sources confirm that the national Democratic Party has taken to heart the criticisms concerning Party rules leveled by Sanders and his supporters. In a surprise move, DNC Chair Deb Wasserman Schultz has resigned. Her place will be taken by former  University of Mississippi activist Melissa Click. Click immediately announced that the current nomination process has been scrapped.


Clinton's lead of approximately 300 pledged delegates, her amassing of over 2.5 million more primary votes than Sanders will no longer matter. Instead, a new regimen will be put into place. The nominee will be decided by an internet poll conducted on the first night of the Party's convention in Philadelphia exclusively among users of Twitter, Reddit, Instagram, and Snapchat. In case of a tie, the prospective nominee whose supporters use the most capital letters in their responses to survey questions will be judged the winner.

"It's about MODERN DEMOCRACY," said Sanders supporter Persephone Rainbow. "I mean, REALLY. If you don't understand MODERN MEANS OF COMMUNICATION, you DON'T DESERVE to be nominated. #BernieOrBust."

Clinton supporter Eleanor Bluehair saw things differently. "They are disenfranchising Myspace voters. Doesn't loyalty and tradition stand for anything anymore?"

Sanders released a statement saying that he would agree with the decision as long as it resulted in a victory for his campaign. If he lost, he reserved the right to change his mind. Clinton's campaign was too busy buying every available share of Twitter stock to comment.




Comments

  1. A little late for April fools isn't it Ira?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's called satire, Jeremy. Great English literary tradition...

      Delete
  2. Excellent Ira , we English call the USA , "The Land without irony" with affection though . I got in terrible trouble my firsr visit there ...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Barry. I sometimes think that I should label a post like this as satire so that folks don't confuse it for an actual news story.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

RESTAURANT TEN, UZES: RESTAURANT REVIEW

Ten sits just off the market square in Uzes, one of the prettiest villages in southern France. The newly renovated space is airy and comfortable with tables of sufficient size and sufficiently spaced to provide for a pleasant dining experience. Service was cheerful, fully bilingual, and attentive without being overbearing. The food presented well to both eye and tongue. And the rate of approximately 30 € per person for a party of five included starters, mains, a dessert or two, two bottles of local wine, and coffees at the finish. Reasonable if not cheap eats.  So why am I hesitant to give an unqualified thumbs up?  It took me a while to figure it out. Uzes is a quintessentially French village in a quintessentially French region of southern France. There are those who will say that the Languedoc is just as beautiful but less crowded and less expensive than its eastern neighbors. I know. I'm one of those people. But the fact remains that for many people, villages like Uzes are t

Kreuz Market vs. Smitty’s Market: Texas Barbecue in Lockhart

I was born and raised in New Jersey. I didn’t taste Texas barbecue until I was twenty-two years old. What the hell do I know about barbecue? And what could I add to the millions of words that have been written on the subject? Well, I know a bit about food. I’ve managed to check out a few of the finer joints in Texas – Sonny Bryan’s Smokehouse in Dallas, Joe Cotton’s in Robstown before the fire, the dear departed Williams Smokehouse in Houston, and the incomparable New Zion Missionary Baptist Church in Huntsville . So I can speak from a reasonably wide experience. This will not be a comprehensive discussion of the relative merits of Texas barbecue as opposed to the fare available in places like Memphis or the Carolinas. It’s simply a take on our recent visits to Lockhart and the relative merits of Smitty’s versus Kreuz from our point of view. I’ll get all over academic in a later post. On our way out to the ranch in Crystal City, we stopped at Smitty’s. You have to look

CHÉ OLIVE / LE ZINC, CREISSAN: RESTAURANT REVIEW

No, it's not Chez Olive. It is indeed Ché complete with red star and black beret. I have no idea why and I wasn't about to ask. The French are the French and not to be analyzed too closely when it comes to politics, especially these days. Creissan is the next town over from our village of Quarante. We pass through it often and Ché Olive is right there on the main road at the entrance to town. (One of the signs still says Le Zinc. Olive says he prefers Ché Olive though.) Olive opened it a couple of years ago after leaving the Bar 40, Quarante's basic local watering hole that's undergone a bit of a renaissance lately. We hadn't heard much about Ché Olive from our usual sources for dining recommendations. So we just kept passing by. For reasons not central to this review, we decided to stop in for lunch on a mid-week in late December. The bar is cozy, the restaurant open and bright and modern. Newly renovated and perhaps a bit sterile. We were the f