POLITICIAN SPEAKS PLAINLY. CONFUSION ERUPTS.

"Of course people don't know what to make of it," opined famed linguist Noah Lipski. "She spoke in complete sentences. She didn't obfuscate. She didn't patronize. She stated her position clearly and unequivocally. She provided an alternative position. In writing. The encounter was so atypical of modern political discourse that it boggles the mind."

Lipski was referring, of course, to the recent encounter between between Senator Dianne Feinstein and a group of young activists lobbying her in support of the Green New Deal. The following statement was released by Feinstein's office:

"After my friend and colleague Nancy Pelosi demonstrated that it's not wise to take women of a certain age lightly, that you were likely to hear truth spoken, I thought that the youngsters who came to my office would understand the value of hearing from a woman with considerable political experience. I was wrong. Next time, I'll be certain to just pretend that I'm listening, agree with everything that they say, and offer them cookies."

CALIFORNIA DEMOCRAT PARTY CHAIRWOMAN HOSPITALIZED

Heather McFeather, Chairwoman of the California Democrat Party, was admitted to Los Angeles Memorial Hospital with a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The injury occurred shortly after the Party refused to endorse the re-election bid of US Senator Dianne Feinstein. The hospital reported a spate of similar hospitalizations since the Presidential election of 2016.

"More and more politicians, primarily Democrats, seem to be shooting themselves in the foot," according the hospital's press release."Our thoughts and prayers are with McFeather, for whatever they are worth."

In a related story, President Trump tweeted: Now McFeather knows how painful bone spurs in your feet can be.